INTERVIEW/Journey home: A transgender woman's dream of rejoining the Lunar New Year dinner

By Sunny Lai, CNA staff reporter

For most people in Taiwan, the Lunar New Year holiday is a time for reunion dinners with family, but for Claire Chiu (邱芯妤), the season looks very different. This year, she will spend the break working as a driver, unwelcome at her parents' dinner table, even though she lives under the same roof.

"When I see friends gathering with their families... I can't help but feel quite sad," said the 28-year-old transgender woman and chartered car driver, who admitted the years of rejection have left her "numb."

It is a tradition in many Asian countries, including Taiwan, for family members and relatives to gather for dinner on the eve of the Lunar New Year.

Chiu, however, told CNA in a recent interview that she has not been welcome at her family table since 2018 and instead spends most of the holiday season working.

Different to others

Coming out of the closet at the age of 17, Chiu still vividly remembered her mother's reaction after she sent her a message late one night saying, "I want to transition."

"I never expected my door to burst open so soon," Chiu recalled. "My mother, hysterical, yelled, 'You want to transition? Fine! Let's go to the emergency department now and get the surgery!' before starting to curse."

Describing feeling "completely stunned," Chiu realized that night that her parents would probably never accept her as a transgender person, even though she had "felt different to others since childhood."

At school, Chiu said she often felt she did not fit in with the boys in her class and wanted to engage more with the girls, but was too nervous to initiate.

"Hearing other girls chat about makeup, idols, or other topics, I really wanted to join in," she recalled. "But I could never quite explain why."

The challenges continue

About a year after the incident with her mother, Chiu moved out of home and began university. Finally, she had the freedom to be herself, "I could dress the way I wanted to and let my hair grow longer," she said.

However, she was careful not to broach the subject of her identity, explaining, "If I brought it up again, I knew it would lead to a big argument."

Once, while she was still studying at university, her parents invited her to a gathering with relatives. She decided to attend but wore discreet makeup and more feminine clothes to stay true to her identity.

"My parents gave me a dirty look when they saw me," Chiu said.

"After the meal, my dad texted me, 'Why can't you just be a normal person?... Others will only ever treat you with contempt,'" she recalled, fighting back tears.

After that "incident," she was never invited to family gatherings again, including Lunar New Year reunion dinners.

"I was never a part of it again," she said with a bitter smile.

Stopped, questioned, dismissed

After returning to live at home at her parents' insistence, Chiu, who now dresses as a woman and is undergoing hormone therapy in preparation for gender-affirming surgery, said her mum and dad rarely spoke to her.

She said that as well as being rejected in her own home, she has to put up with a lack of acceptance in wider society.

While working as a food delivery driver in 2019, Chiu was stopped by police and taken to the station for "failing to cooperate with the inspection," even though she had provided her ID when asked.

"When we got to the police station, the officer said something like, 'I saw the information on the computer but I thought it wasn't you,'" she said, suspecting the officer used the fact she looked different on her ID to make things difficult.

Chiu is not alone. According to a survey of more than 800 respondents by the Taiwan Tongzhi (LGBTQ+) Hotline Association in January 2024, 12 percent of transgender individuals in Taiwan reported having faced unnecessary difficulties during a police stop and 40 percent said they frequently encounter challenges when trying to prove their identity.

Many 'last miles'

While Taiwan is regarded as a frontrunner in advancing LGBTQ rights, notably becoming the first country in Asia to legalize same-sex marriage in 2019, Chiu believes there are still many "last miles" before the transgender community reaches equality.

Most Taiwanese individuals wanting to change their legal gender have to obtain two psychiatric diagnosis certificates as well as undergo gender-affirming surgery: removal of the breasts, uterus and ovaries for transgender men and removal of the penis and testicles for transgender women.

Because some courts have ruled that these requirements are disproportionate and violate the Constitution, some transgender people have been able to change their gender on their ID cards without undergoing surgery. However, these rulings remain rare and an individual ruling does not form a legal precedent.

"It feels like the government still treats transgender people as if they are abnormal," she said, adding that transgender identities are no longer medically considered an illness.

Chiu emphasized that gender-affirming surgery carries "very high costs," including a significant financial burden, risks of complications and a minimum six-month recovery period.

A final wish

While working to save up for the surgery, which costs at least NT$600,000 (US$18,350), Chiu has been advocating for LGBTQ rights, including pushing for the right of an individual to change the gender on their ID card without undergoing surgery.

She often shares her experiences as a transgender woman with those she meets during her job driving tourists around. In her free time, she gives talks at various venues and volunteers at the Taiwan Tongzhi (LGBTQ+) Hotline Association.

These efforts have strengthened Chiu's resolve to seek greater acceptance for transgender individuals in society, even as she remains excluded from her family's table at this year's reunion dinner.

But, she is still holding onto hope that one day she will be invited to attend the gathering with newfound recognition from her father.

"If my father introduced me as his daughter, I would feel truly accepted," she said.

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